3 TIPS FOR A HAPPY SINGLE LIFE

Did you know that you can live a very happy single life?

Yes, you can!

Following a breakup, it can feel like a tall order, but I am here to say that once you lean into it, there is a lot to love!

Initially, the loss and grief of your breakup will feel immense.  Feeling the feelings, finding the lessons, and letting go are all a part of the process, but there are some things you can do that will help you begin to be happy with single life.  I suggest that you start pressing into these things each day.  They will feel hard and awkward at first, but over time you will notice that single life is feeling good and like a whole bunch of freedom!

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Two amazing books that will help you through the breakup recovery process and building your new single life:

SINGLE ON PURPOSE 

BREAKUP BOOTCAMP 

I have read both and loved them!  They provide practical insight and wonderful ways to reframe your thoughts.  Breakup Bootcamp does deeper into the healing process while Single on Purpose provides lots of ways to create your new life!

SINGLE LIFE IS ALL ABOUT YOU

• This is a time to wake up and ask yourself what you want and need. It is truly all about YOU!  This might be the first time in your life this is possible, so be sure to dig in and enjoy.  Do you need alone time?  Connection?  Fun?  Figure out how to make that happen.  
• If you find yourself lacking in friend and family connections, start with what you have and make moves to increase them.  Be intentional about deepening the connections you have, and find ways to add more people to your life.  This may be a slow process but you will find that over time your network has grown.
• Living a happy single life starts with reframing some things.  Yes, it is nice to have a partner, but a partner also brings their own challenges. I figure that I can either experience the beauty and struggle of being on my own or the beauty and struggle of being in a relationship.  And for today, I am loving being on my own. I do have lovely people in my life, but my main focus is ME.
• Dig into your past relationship(s) and unearth your own unhealthy patterns.  What did you do that caused the breakup?  What caused you to accept inconsistency and/or poor treatment? Why did you stay as long as you did?  Knowing these things about yourself sets you up for better relationships in the future.
• Start thinking about your future relationship.  What do you want it to look like?  How do you want to feel within it?  How will you add to that person’s life?  What are your deal-breakers?  Having an idea of what you want will help you weed through what you don’t want.

BEING SINGLE IS DOING ANYTHING YOU WANT

• Maybe you feel the need to “cocoon” for a period of time.  That is 100% a worthwhile thing to do.  My breakup occurred right before the pandemic started in 2020 and I rather enjoyed being stuck in the house binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy.  Do what feels good to you, but be sure that you allow yourself to be social after a while. It is helpful and encouraging to see that there is a lot of life happening outside your four walls.
• What are some things that you have wanted to do but didn’t do while you were in a relationship?  Joining Crossfit?  Taking a road trip across the US? Planting a salsa garden?  Guess what?  You can do that now.
• Is your home a reflection of YOU?  I often have people tell me that they love my little house and it is so “girly”.  And, it is.  Because that is the way I like it.  Take a look at your living spaces and plan changes you want to make.  You don’t need a lot of money for this.  Painting walls and furniture is inexpensive and provides a big impact. Learning some basic DIY techniques will help you create a living space you love!
• Treat yo’ self!  Part of living a happy single life is in the little things.  A walk at the park, getting your nails done, or a drive on Sunday with the music turned up high.  These are the spaces where we take our life back and start making memories that include us and the loving people in our life.
• If finances are holding you back, look into a side hustle.  There are a ton of ways to make the money you need to finance your big or small dreams.

SINGLENESS IS LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE

• Keep in mind that your single season is most likely temporary.  New people will come your way and you will be better prepared for a healthy relationship once you understand yourself better.  Being on your own is always better than being in a relationship that causes pain.  I always remind myself that the blank space next to me leaves room for a wonderful partner in the future.  New love will find you!
• Losing your “person” also comes with the loss of a future life you thought would happen.  Your single season is the perfect time to dream big and create a new one!  What do you want your future to look like?  Where do you want to live?  What type of work do you want to do?  What kinds of activities do you want to be doing?  Write it all down.  No, you probably can’t make it all happen today, but you can decide which items are “must-haves” and start thinking about how to move towards them.

I know that being freshly out of a relationship is a painful place.  You will most likely not be able to engage in all of these items at once, but it is good to start small and build up. Over time you will find that, with practice, the item that seemed so out of place at first, now feels normal and doable.  Now add another item!  And keep doing this over and over and over.

I can promise you that one day you will be happy with single life.  You will feel free and full of hope for your future.  Your thoughts will be full of your own life and dreams.

Take the first step today, beautiful friend! 

Your happy single life awaits!

HOW TO BE SINGLE AND HAPPY

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